Neverwhere

Just take a look at these losers - thin as a rail, pale as a ghost. The kind of men we used to beat up every day at school. If you asked any one of them, he would probably admit he supports feminism. The only protein these marys consume was created for a completely different purpose, the misuse of which is precisely what got Onan struck dead by God.

Chill, it’s satire. :)

2040: Authors Will 
Become Like Tamagotchi.

Having determined that what readers want is a “sense of connection,” publishers will organize adopt-an-author promotions, repackaging writers along the lines of Webkinz and other imaginary pets. “Feeding” your favorite authors by buying their books will make their online avatars grow less pale and grouchy. If they starve to death on your watch you will lose social networking points. 

By Jack Loftus.

I check Twitter.

I check Facebook.

I check-in to my apartment on Foursquare, which I’ve named something cute and clever because for some reason I think people actually care what I call my apartment on a mobile application named after a children’s playground game. They don’t. I just wanted the mayorship, let’s be honest.

I laughed heartily, albeit a smidge guiltily.

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